give up

24october2008 (11:23PM) (raining again)
u know i keep thinking
y am i the one getting hurt n u just stand thr like nobody's buisness!!!
i am fed up wiv u get it ?!
i want to give up get it??
bla bla bla...!!!sick of your shit sick or your face sick of your words tat makes me fade
get it!!!i hate u...
i waant to give up because no matter how far i run you will never chase me back no matter how pain i drop you will never ask y
even today i see you i felt like yea i am giving up...
is so dark deep down there n i dont want to go in any further..
i cant take it...
maybe i really dont love you tat much...
sorry...i dont love you like i did yesterday ....

emo

rejected

18october2008(2:49PM)(emo day)
i should have known u would reject me!!!
y am i so stupid foolish n retarded to love u tat deep love u tat hard..
do everything in the world just to get your heart
in the end i never tell him tat i love him cause my fren asked him n he say dont want to hurt me so ask me not to say
i know tat he love someone else...!!!!
y do i still want to ram my heart on tat fuckin wall...tat fuckin hard bloody heart wall
it hurts my head...it hurts my heart...no tears came down because maybe is just too hard until i felt like sleeping forever..
loving someone is not fun is hardcore n sad...

to all the fuckin retardes tat left us alone
u know wad it feels like to get left out n get leave behind in the dark i guess u dont know rite cause u never get rejected by someone u reli love...
u know getting rejected is painful wad u say i will keep it in my heart forever n if one day u come bak n say i love u i will just walk away n say sorry i dont love u like i did yesterday ...
sorry but if u really want me to give up yea ok i will try to forget about u

thin air that he would never feel

17october2008 (11:43 PM) (thin air day)
today is PMR de finish day i very happy for him...
i think again n again want to tell him or not...
but at last i force myself not to tell him u see if i tell him he might not like it n dun wan to be kor n mui wiv me...but if he loves me of course it would be the best solution lar...
but i think again i better not say lar later ppl say i am a fool plus i wan to play "an lian"...haix...
today after school i saw him...i think he saw me also...
but i walk past i want to say hi to him but he was too busy staring at other ppl...so i just walk pass infront of him...he never say anything...i felt like a wind to him...the unwindy type but he just dont want to feel it...
i was so sad...i felt like crying...he treat me so cold n unfrenly i still wan to love him...ppl think tat i am crazy...
i can talk about him for hours...just thinking about him makes my mind go physico...
but is just tat...everytime i see him i get this weird n scare feeling i just dunno how to talk to him ...although he is quite a frenly guy but i found it stupid n useless if u ask me to talk to him...my heart pounds very fast n i get scared by his eyes...is like tigers or lions...is damn scary...i dunno y my heart pounds over 1000+++
n i start to blush...i hate it whn i get ignored n i just sit thr with a blank stupid watery face wiv my mouth half open...i guess is genetic problems my brains just like to daze at the air for like a few mins then i will come back...-.-''

i knew it

14october2008 (10:07PM) (its a raining day n it felt dark )
for once...i felt so happy because i'm goin to tell him tat i love him...
but y do i feel tat he didnt like me anymore...y
i am once so happy but i cried for him for tat paper for him not looking at me...y did i cry i told myself y am i so sad y am i crying....
i can have the best things on earth tat i never even wanted...
all i wanted was for u to notice me just notice me n look at me once...just tat once i dont nid more...
i feel like hiding my feelings i dont wan to tell u tat i love u
i cry i dream tat u say u dont love me in the start n u break a jar of stars tat i made for u n u slap me y do i dream things like this...
i dream only ed is thr for me whn i needed him...y ...
i cried again n again cause i dont know y everytime i see u i cry...but i love you...no matter wad happen i will still love u even if u make me cry until thr is no more tears i will still love u
even if u slap me again n again i will still forgive u ..no matter wad u do it makes me go crazy i cannot take it anymore...
everyone ask me to tell u how i feel but i am scared tat u would reject me n we cant be kai kor n kai mui anymore...
i keep running away from the truth because i dont want to see u reject me
i love u ...i really do...
i decided to tell u i love u no matter what the answer is i'll make sure i put a smile on my face cry n walk away PS:ILOVEU

is this a trap or someting?!

4/10/2008 (3:25PM) full of question day!!
yesterday i sms dumpfish n i told him tat day whn i go 9wang ye i saw a lot of my school frens they all also very tall...i very sad cause i am short
then he say tall guys like girls short...
then he ask me u like a tall boy ar
then i say ya how u know de smart!!!
then he ask who izit...i ask him to guess...
i say he very tall de ..okok looking but sor sor dei de...
i reli dunno he can guess until is him or not...
haix...i dunno wan tell him i love him or not...later he reject me later he dun wan to talk to me liao...
but i think be4 liao after he PMR n after i exam i sms him say i love him...but dunno if it works or not...but i still have to try...
i lose 1 time de chance liao i dun wan to lose another time...

pray pray at 9 wang ye

i went to KLCC today ..
went to kinokunia to see some books...
bought 1 book n then see some korea n jap dictionaries so i go n 38 open n see reli very nice to read cause all in ping ying swt...
i want to learn both language but mom say too expensive so cannot learn lor
today i go pray ..
9 wang ye reli very many ppl go ...
plus i saw the 'feng ling' very nice but so expensive ar i small round shape one cost RM15 so my mom dun let me buy...buy food eat liao keep stomach ache..shit
nid to use to bathroom ....
eat wrong thing T.T
pray pray tat time hehe i acctually a bit sellfish lar i ask for another 1 more extra wish is tat dumpfish can be happy n PMR all A's...
hope he always happy ...even if he dont notice me i will be supporting him lar of course duh...
haix...
PS:ILY