27 november2008 happiest day ML

although today not 27november lar but also nvm
cause the day be4 not enough time blog...>__<
the day be4 yesterday was the happiest day of my life^__^
maybe happiest day in the month lar...!!!
first i went window shopping n i saw this really cute clothes >__so cute the outfits ^___^
then it was raining ...
so on the way home i receive sms from justin saying tat he got his report card so i quickly check the mail box!!!
n i really got tat freaking report card...
i was like ok
this is the biggest day of my life [maybe not] but i was so excited!!!
n when i open up n see booya!!!!!
number 3 in da class n i got changed class...snap...change to 3B but also ok i get to hang out wiv my frens cause their just next door^___^
n then at night i tell ywy ily then WCLL^___^
it was such a great day!!!
we were planing whr to hang out
i even chat wiv joie it was such a wonderful day i got ton's of things to say when i see them
aww man i already miss them so muchy^___^
27November is the most precious day n most memorable day ...n the happiest day ever…
i hope i can share more memories with yao...
more sweet memories n more better memories^___^
ILY YWY muackx!!!!!!

N btw this is my blog I can write shit in it n u don’t have to give a damn^___^blekxxx booobbbuuueeeeiiii



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am i in love again...

i got no idea...
but i have been having weird feelings...
everyday every second n every minute i will be looking at my phone...
i keep asking myself y u haven reply...the minutes tick 9 10 11 u still haven reply...
i felt hopeless...
whn u talk to St n say tat i love him...
i told u tat i dont...i dont love him...because i love ... ...
everytime u late reply me i would be like'omg wad happen y he so late reply de...he dota ar..he sleeping ar??'many question came out of my mind...
i kept asking myself
y am i so worry...
he die adi also not my problem lar...
but then...
i found out tat...i cant go a day without thinking him...
i made him angry n he say he can forgive me if i say iloveyou to him...
at first i cant type it out...but after tat he sms me...
n i actually type the 3 words in...
i bet he was thinking tat it was just a lie...
but is not...i guess he will never know...
i was hoping i can go out wiv him tomorrow
but it all ended up tat it was cancel n he is going wiv him cousin on friday...
haix...
i was hoping tat he can go out wiv us next week to watch twilight n go roller...
but i dont think he would wan to go...
speechless over the edge and now breathless ....

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urgghhhh!!!!!pissed off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant believe it!!!
u actually say tat to him..
i told u i dont love him anymore
but y do u have to say tat....
i am so angry n pissed off the reason y i dont want to mension it
i feel like kicking his freaking ass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i told u a million times i dont love him anymore
the day i see tat conver i told myself it was the end i wont love him anymore
but y do u have to go n say such things....
i dont love him i really dont y cant u believe me...
forget about it...!!!!urgghhhhhhhhhh .....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so frustrated n angry feel like biting a gummy bear's head off...too bad no gummy....!!!!
get it YWY I DONT LOVE HIM!!!!
DONT UNDERSTAND WANT ME TO SAY IT AGAIN IDONT LOVE CST!!!!!!!!!
i might love him in the past but not in the future...i dont want the history to repeat again i dont want to love him anymore ....because ... ... ...[cannot say... ...]

love someone

everyone has a mask but all of the mask is different everytime u do something infront of different people...
infront of my frens i take off my mask n enjoy but infront of the past i wore every single mask i can just to hide myself everytime i go through it ...
just like last time i tried to take my mask off but i guess it was harder than i tot...
i hide my true self all along just to fit in...
but i guess tat was impossible...
i wonder if tat day i never go up during science lesson using tat stairs , i wouldn't met him
n i wouldn't end up so sad...
if i never meet him be4 i would never have such happy memories but yet so horrible and pain...
i would have more hope n less pain...
_______________
Look Around Dont U Feel Something Missing
Im The One U Promised U Would Love
But U Got Ahead So Far Away While Im Holding On Plz Turn Around
I See You But I Dont Feel You
Cant Get Ur Attention To Save My Love
Look Back And See Me Now Dont Let Me Down Plz Turn Around

I Think I Musta Gave Too Much
Cause I Felt That The Robe Was Getting Rough
Suddenly I Felt Lonley Out Here
I Look Beside Me To Find Ur Not There
Said U Would Love And Protect Me
All I Have Are The Words U Left Me
Here I Stand With The Plans In My Head
This Cant Be The Kinda Love That You Said
Dont Leave Me Out Here All Alone
Im Still Right Here Where'd U Go
_____________________

ahhhh!!!!sorry mama sorry mama

sorry leh mama
yesterday promise jor u 12 call u say happy birthday
but then i sleep jor suddenly wake up only remember nid to say happy birthday
but then adi over 12 liao almost 1 ...
reli sorry i sms u jor no call u cause my mom sleeping i scare she scold me lol
T.T~~~sorry
after tat cant sleep jor yesterday night lol hand pain #____#......
sorry o
new day today ^___^
cant decide whn to go sing k again n watch movie n roller @___@

JY
+HL
+CW
=BFF'S losers FO!!!
watch ghost movie lol quarentin i think is tat spelling lar...lol
*____*

crying

yesterday night i felt so sad...
i was just chatting wiv my fren well for quite long lar ...then i wanted to say bye bye adi ...
but my mom slapped me...
2 tight slap...
i cried...i told myself is ok...
i send a msg to him n i said yeah i mom close the com so i never reply him...
i told myself not to cry...but i still cry i kept on crying
i am like oh my god
what the hell am i crying for ...
i dream of him... tat night ..
it was just so sweet... ...
>_<....
all the funny things we've go through...lol^__^.. ..
is juat so weird..y am i dreaming abt him again i tot i am over him..
sighs ...making pudding now^__^

empty

i look at the sky today n i was thinking...
y is the sky so plain...y is the sky always blue , white but sometimes is so dark n horrible...i keep asking myself y ..
n i figured out tat the sky is like ur feelings whn u r sad the sky will become dark n it will rain...
y cant the sky be colourfull y cant it be perfect...
it take 1 second to forget u but it took me forever to forget you...i walked away tat day i told myself is i walk away they would be happier he would think tat i am over him...every step tat i take is a mistake if i walk back to him...
he is like a cold wall n i am stupid enough to ram my head on it a few times n say 'ouch tat is so darn pain...i am so sad' but i still ram my head on it...i bet ppl would be like 'woaaahhh crystal r u stupid he dont love u cant u forget him u r such n dumbass!!!!'
yeah i am such a dumbass i think again n again y am i doing this to myself...!!!
finally i know y ...is because i felt tat no one is around me...felt so lonely...for the first time
is like standing in the rain wiv a bunch of frens tat r dummies...they dont really know me too well...
all i know is evrytime whn i talk to them they just cant listen ..is like i am talking nuts to a few beans ...it doesnt make any sense...sighs...single life really do suck...but sighs..
i just cant forget his face...his features...his height oh my lord..!!!!
shit man crystal !!!shut up!!!only a few person knows wad i am thinking n wad i feel n wad kind of person i am...
now i din chat wiv mama for a week after wad happen...sighs...i shouldn't have ignored him...y did i ignored him tat friday...it just happen so fast n the next thing u know u got no more frens in the world...
is just like a sharp knife poking ur head...
sighs...whn u got everything in the world u just found out tat u didnt nid them n the one tat nidded u have been rejected...i told u tat i am ok but i turn bak n walk away because i didnt want to let u know tat i am crying....
....
if your so sick of love songs
so tired of tears
you say you love me
why aint you here?
im so sick of your love songs
so sad and slow
but i just cant turn off the radio


gotta fix that calendar i have
that's marked july 15th
cause it seems like you forgot
that was our anniversary
when i heard your song it
made it hard to erase your memory
now when i hear your song i know it's there for me
i cant believe that you're
...............
i really dont know who i love now......i look bak at the past n i say wow i should have rejected him than let him play wiv my feelings...i dont trust love ...waiting for the day to past whr i cant finally know who i really love him or him...lol

sad... ...

y no one understand me de..... .....
y i feel so sad...everyone blame me...
i am also a human not a robot...i got feelings...
i feel so tired...
feel like nobody...
mama dont understand how i feel...i already got love problems...
cant anyone understand... ...
i felt like today i am at the edge of no where alone...
......
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

.......
in the edge of ''no one cares''...
tried to cry but no tears came rolling down my cheek...maybe is because i am use to this...since i am little...use of going through the rough times myself...

thinking

i keep thinking again n again...
whats wrong wiv me...
i seem to have missed him...
everytime i see him on9 i would just tel yself u must forget him...
he likes someone else already but i just cant erase the memories tat r far buried....
the song tat we shared brought out every single tears...
i told myself is long gone but i kept crying n comfort myself ...''dont worry he will come back ...one day''
i am still waiting for tat one single day tat he would come back...
y am i doin this...i feel so tired but yet i still want to grab on tat useless string...y
i still cant get an answer tat i am satisfied...
do i reli have to wait til tat day he walks up to me n say 'crystal i dont love u get lost i dont want to see u '...do i really have to wait for tat to happen only i can get over him...
i feel so lonely all of a suddent....joie is moving to SSG next year HL is goin Nz next year...i feel tat the whole world of people r all gone...n i am the only one left behind....
i really dont want to be the one left behind by the others...
i guess is the end of me....is the end of my happiness...[maybe not tat far..]
haix...
at worst thing my mom dont let me get my second peircing on the top of my ears...i plan on getting one without telling my mom ...is me n joie's frenship peircing i guess!!!!lol...no mood to laugh jor

given up

u happy then ok le...
sorry o always bother u all...
haix...
nvm i se xin le...
hope u will forever ba...
the memories we had be4 is in the past i wont take bak n see de....
i will be happyn n move on...
sorry to bother u
bye bye...