on msn i dont know wad to talk to u ...F***

10September (915PM) (tired day goin to sleepy land...headache)

i really dont know wad to talk to u ...
i dont know y ...
i really hope whn i say 'i dont bother u lar' u would say is ok and tell me wad heppen..
but u didnt...
is ok i understand...is really hard to open a topic whn u dont even understand him...
i really dont know y whn i want to talk to u my head starts to ache...
i dont know y T.T
i felt like crying...
i felt like everything is gone...everything is over even our brother sister relationship would bomb in 1 day...
all these times i have been stupid enough to hold back n wait ...
hold back n keep peeping at the back ...
u know y is because i hope u would come running to me n say i am sorry to leave u alone tat time...
but i understand is very hard to do that whn u dont even know wheter he love's u or not...
i dont know y i felt so scare tat one day everyone would leave me ...
n i would be the only one standing....
everytime i think of it i would sweat...n i would feel like crying is just like emotionnal unstabble...
whn i see him tat day he really look hurt...
i was hopping he would really notice me but then he didnt again...but is ok
i understand i am not as important as his other sisters...
i undertsand...i am in his past n i am never going to bring him back even if i want to he wouldn't agreee...
because he dont love me anymore..
i am just like a piece of glass...he cant see me i cant see him
i am really tired today...
really tired...
dont know y is just like i hope tat someone would run to me n hug me n ask r u ok...
but then no...
is ok...i understand...
today i saw chang zhao's brother chang yee...
i walk pass him because eventually i tot he dont know me n he was in the car but he wind the window down...
i walk pass him another time because my mom wasnt infront n i look at him...he smile n wave gudbye to me...
he is really a nice guy ...but michelle yee they all treat him as a bad guy...reason y i cant tell it out in the public (i mean in my page cause million's of u might open my blog in see )...
if he was my bf it should be quite nice...he is a nice guy^__^
ok crystal stop dreaming...!!!!is not gonna happen...!!!!!!
woahhhh.....god i've been writing this post for the past 20min's i got to run
tomorrow night only i write again